Losing your memory
by OTH-FOQ
Summary: Stefan goes home on Klaus' order only to leave again in two days. Just enough time to break his heart. Post 2x22.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone ! Here's a new story for you ! It's a two-shots and that's the first part. It is set after 2x22, 10 months after Stefan's departure. I hope you'll like it !_

* * *

><p>He let him go. Stefan doesn't know why, but Klaus let him go. He told him to be back in two days, otherwise every single person in Mystic Falls will die, and Stefan has enough humanity left within him to know that this can't happen. So he goes back to where he belongs, aware that it's only to leave again very soon. The sun isn't shining yet, the night is slowly fading away. He finds out that the town hasn't changed a bit since his departure, almost a year ago. He takes his time to watch everything carefully. It almost makes him feel again. Almost. Stefan has shut down his emotions again. He doesn't want to feel the pain and the guilt. He knows he wouldn't be able to handle them. He didn't even try to count how many people he killed.<p>

Stefan only tries to remember that he did this to save his brother's life. There was a true reason for him to leave with Klaus. He would never have done that otherwise. He would never have left Elena. But Damon, his _brother_, had been bitten. Stefan remembered all too well Rose's painful and horrible death. There was no way in hell Damon would go through the same thing. So he had found the cure, as promised. He had gone to Klaus and never left his side ever since. It was ten months ago.

* * *

><p>An hour later, he's standing in front of his house. Stefan takes a deep breath. He knows he's about to give his brother one of the best shock of his life. He hasn't seen him since Elena's birthday. Yes, he was here. Just to give her a gift. Damon had tried to hold him down to keep him with them. But Stefan was stronger, and that made everybody realize that he already wasn't <em>Stefan<em> anymore. To be stronger than Damon, he had to drink human blood, and they all knew that. Elena first. So they let him go, watched him leave. He never came back. Until today.

He pushes the door open and steps in. The familiar scent of the wood, the old books, Damon's alcohol and everything else fills his nostrils. Stefan shivers. Maybe coming back wasn't such a good idea. Because he realizes that it's just as if he never left and it _hurts_. He shouldn't be feeling. Stefan swallows hard and finally manages to walk in fully. He closes the door behind him slowly. Damon might still be sleeping. Stefan uses his time alone to visit the entire house. He only notices one new table in the kitchen. He checks in every room except two. Damon's bedroom where he's probably asleep, and his own. He just can't push the door. He's afraid of what he's going to find inside. Instead, he goes back downstairs and pours himself a glass of bourbon. He doesn't need blood yet. He doesn't feel the need to kill, which is weird compared to what he's been doing all this time. Maybe that's because of where he is. Home. Stefan thinks he doesn't have the right to call this place a home anymore. He's not welcomed. He's feared. They will not tell him though. Because somehow, he's still Stefan. Granted, he's gained some pounds, and his muscles are even more developed than when he left, but he still has the same haircut. A little darker, maybe. But he's the same Stefan. Wearing leather jackets and tight black jeans.

Stefan snaps back to reality when he hears footsteps coming from upstairs. Damon is awake. It's time to face him. Stefan empties his drink and stands up from the couch. He doesn't understand why he can feel apprehension running through his veins. It's just Damon. He's known him his whole life. Maybe that's just because he's not sure who's the Damon he's going to face. He voluntarily keeps his eyes locked on the chimney in front of him.

And then, as expected, he hears his voice.

"**Stefan ?"**

* * *

><p>Stefan slowly turns round to face Damon. His green eyes find their way to his brother's blue ones and he attempts to smile weakly. To say that Damon is surprised is an understatement. He's bewildered and Stefan thinks that if he was human, Damon would have fainted. The thought makes him truly smile and he finally find the strength to answer :<p>

"**Well, Damon, don't you recognize your own brother ?"**

That seems to slap Damon in the face. He blinks and takes a step towards Stefan.

"**How is that possible ? How can you be here ?"**

"**That's a long story."**

"**I've been looking for you all around the country. Where have you been ?"**

"**Everywhere."**

"**You're not answering my questions, Stefan."**

"**Why don't we sit on the couch ? I've missed it."**

Stefan knows he shouldn't be acting like this, he knows that his brother deserves some answers, but he just can't deal with it right now. He just wants to enjoy his company, and Damon seems to understand that because he doesn't insist.

* * *

><p>There's one question Stefan dreads to ask. <em>Elena<em>. What happened to her ? Damon hadn't said a word about her yet, and Stefan doesn't quite understand why. His brother should know that he wants to hear about her.

"**So… Are you back for real ?"**

"**No. Only today and tomorrow."**

"**Why ? Why would he let you go and then take you back ?"**

"**I don't know. I don't discuss orders. I don't want to be compelled."**

"**How do you feel ?"**

"**Weird. It's like I haven't changed a bit since I left, but it's just an illusion."**

"**Can you control yourself with humans around you ?"**

"**I think so."**

"**How ?"**

"**I don't know, Damon. It seems easier when I'm not around Klaus."**

"**But aren't you thirsty ?"**

"**Of course I am. Aren't you ?"**

Damon nods. The thirst is something that remains even though they drink blood for hours. Stefan asks another question :

"**Have you found Elijah ?"**

"**What's up with him ? He's a traitor."**

"**No. He trusted his brother."**

"**What happened ?"**

"**Klaus killed him."**

"**So… He's got that dagger in his heart again ?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Poor guy."**

"**Klaus keeps his entire family somewhere in town. You have to look for them. Bring Elijah back to life first."**

"**I'm sure Klaus has some people working to keep their bodies hidden."**

"**Probably. I don't know."**

They remain silent for a while. It's not easy to pretend that Stefan never left. They've got so many things to say, yet no one speaks. There's a gap between them and they don't know how to overcome it. Finally, Stefan gets up and walks toward the window. The sun is shinning now, and he can admire the beauty of the house's surrenders. Then he dares to ask :

"**How's Elena ?"**

His question is welcomed by a silence. Damon has kept his eyes on the floor and it makes Stefan frowns. His brother is never one to elude a question.

"**Damon ? What is it that you don't want to tell me ?"**

"**Nothing. I was just thinking about what her reaction will be when she'll see you."**

"**Do you think I should go and see her ?"**

Damon looks at his brother.

"**Why wouldn't you ?"**

"**I mean, don't you think it'd be easier for her if I stay away ? If she doesn't know that I'm here ?"**

"**I think it'd be easier for you, Stefan. Easier to leave again. But Elena… She believes that she'll never have the chance to see you again. You should go."**

* * *

><p>But he doesn't go. Not now. It's too early anyway, he's not sure Elena would be awake. He stays with Damon, because no matter how much of an ass he can be sometimes, Stefan will always love and need his brother. Stefan talks very little about his trip with Klaus. He doesn't want to remember, and Damon understands. So when Stefan asks him about what happened in Mystic Falls during the time he wasn't here, his brother is relieved and finally talks freely.<p>

"**Well, we didn't have much vampire trouble. I killed three of them, not very interesting. Alaric is getting better, although very damaged. Oh, and we've got a new vampire hunter in town. I'm trying to stay as far away from him as possible. Vampire Barbie is kind of dating the Lockwood wolf."**

"**Where does that leave Matt ?"**

"**Matt is over Caroline, now. He made it pretty clear that he didn't want to get involve in all the supernatural stuff, and I can only comprehend the guy. Oh, and the funny thing is Jeremy being able to see the ghosts of Anna and Vicky. It nearly destroyed his relationship with Bon-Bon."**

"**Wait… Jeremy can see his dead ex-girlfriends ?"**

"**Something like that. No one's been able to figure out why they came back to a certain way of… life."**

"**Oh. Well, that's some news."**

No word about Elena. Stefan doesn't want to talk about her, he's afraid of what may come out of Damon's mouth. He can't imagine her moving on with someone else, yet it would be perfectly understandable. But he can't.

* * *

><p>It's been two hours since his return. Stefan can't tell himself any longer that Elena is still sleeping. Of all people, he knows that she's not one to get up lately in the morning. So when he reaches the door and looks at Damon, he doesn't even need words. Damon nods, because he knows where his brother is heading. It's funny, Stefan thinks, how things have turned out for the both of them. There's this inevitable distance between them they can't overcome. Back in 1864, they would tell each other everything. They would hug and laugh together. Stefan can't recall the last time he shared a laugh, or a hug with his older brother. It saddens him. In this moment, he can see the emotions going through Damon's head and heart in his blue eyes. He wishes he could take him in his arms, like brothers would do. But he doesn't move, because he knows that too much time has passed, that it would just be weird. It just wouldn't fit. So he attempts to smile, and leaves quickly.<p>

* * *

><p>He only needs a few seconds to realize that Jeremy and Alaric aren't there. That's a good thing. He will be alone with Elena. Stefan takes a deep breath and walks to the door. There he stands, frozen. Elena is not expecting him. She might have a heart attack. Maybe he should have called her first. Stefan shakes his head and rubs his eyes. He's here now, he's not backing off. Slowly, his hand raises and knocks on the door. He hears her footsteps and closes his eyes for a second. She's coming closer, and suddenly the door is opened, revealing the girl he's been dreaming of since he left almost a year ago. Elena. She's as beautiful as ever, with her big brown eyes and straight hair. Their eyes meet, and Stefan thinks that she's going to pass out. Her mouth is slightly open, as if she's going to say something, but she remains silent. It's the shock, Stefan tells himself. Slowly, he takes a step forward. A small one, but they're already very close to each other.<p>

"**Stefan ?"**

Her voice is like smooth silk. Time has stopped. Stefan believes that the world could end around him, he wouldn't take his eyes off Elena. They stand still, none of them wanting to speak first, maybe because they don't know what to say. Finally, Elena steps aside to let Stefan in. She's too shaken to speak. Obviously she hadn't thought he would ever come back. Stefan feels like he's done something wrong. He keeps looking at her while she closes the door behind him and leans against it. They're so close that he can smell her shampoo. It's still the same, and that almost makes him smile. Stefan realizes that the silence is becoming oppressive and awkward, so he finally whispers :

"**Hi."**

Her brown eyes dives into his green ones and Stefan can see that she's trying really hard to hold back her tears. She holds out her hand and touches his cheek slightly, as if to make sure that he was real, that he wouldn't fade away as soon as she'd make contact with him. He takes her hand in hers and kisses it gently.

"**Elena…"**

"**Oh my God…"**

"**I know… I'm sorry."**

She's got her two hands all over his face now, gripping his head tightly, not wanting to let go.

**"Stefan…"**

And then she bursts into tears. It's a predictable reaction, and yet Stefan doesn't know what to do about it. He wants to engulf her in his embrace, but it's too soon. He's lost the habit of making contact with the people he loves. The past year has been only killing and fucking some unknown chicks who wouldn't even survive to see the next sunrise. But now he has to deal with Elena, who's holding on to him like he's some kind of buoy in the middle of the ocean. Slowly, he takes her hands in his and let them fall back to her sides. She steps back, surprised. He looks away because he can't stand to see the hurt in her eyes.

"**Stefan ? How…"**

"**Maybe we should sit."**

He winces. He didn't mean to sound so rude. But Elena obeys, and she leads him into the living-room. He sits in front of her, and he knows that she has noticed his coldness. He slaps himself mentally, because all that he wants is to be with her, forever, and he just can't tell her, can't _show_ her. She looks at him expectantly. She wants explanations. She _needs_ explanations.

"**You're back…"**

"**I'm not staying."**

"**What ?"**

"**I have to go back to Klaus by tomorrow night."**

"**No… Stefan, no ! You… You can't leave ! Not again, please…"**

His heart aches to see her in such a vulnerable state. No matter how hard he tries to shut his emotions down, everything about Elena makes him _feel_. She wants to throw her arms around his neck but she doesn't move. It's up to him.

"**Elena, listen. I really wish I could stay. But you know Klaus, and a deal's a deal. By choosing to save Damon, I agreed to spend a decade with him. I can't go back on my word, or he'll kill everybody here."**

"**But why would he let you come back and then take you away from us, again ?"**

"**I don't know."**

And it's killing him not to know. Stefan looks down and closes his eyes for a while. He can tell that Elena's watching him, not wanting to push him, but mentally screaming for answers.

**"Why won't you touch me ?"**

It's barely a whisper, but she knew that Stefan couldn't miss it. It makes him open his eyes immediately.

"**Elena… I just need time."**

"**We don't have time, Stefan. I miss you, I've missed you so much during the past months ! And now you're here, in front of me, but in your mind you're miles away. I need you, Stefan."**

He doesn't answer. What would be the right thing to say ? It's not like he can jump in her arms and show her how much he loves her. He's going to _leave_ tomorrow. There will be goodbyes, and Stefan hates goodbyes.

"**Why did you come, then ? Why did you come here to twist the knife into the bleeding wound that's my heart ? Answer me, Stefan !"**

She's mad now. She stands up and paces back and forth in front of him. Oh, it would be easier if she _hated_ him. But her words only prove to him how much love she has to give him. Stefan feels something building quickly within him, and it makes him uncomfortable. It's the need for blood. And Elena's right here, all human with hot blood in her veins. A second later, Stefan's outside the house and Elena freezes at his sudden departure.

**"Stefan ? Where are you ?"**

She notices the open door and walks out. He's there, kneeling down on the road, a few meters away from her. When he looks up to her, she can see his eyes. His ordinary green eyes have turned red, and are surrounded by small veins. Elena understands immediately and she backs off a little.

"**You need to hunt, Stefan. The woods aren't far. You can go there and kill a rabbit, or something. I know you can do it. You can go there without killing people. Just breathe. Please."**

Stefan does as he's told. Slowly, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to focus on something else. He knows he can't hurt anyone here. And he's pleased to see that Elena isn't afraid of him. Sure, she didn't hug him and comfort him as she would have in the past, but he wasn't a ripper back then. So he exhales, and feels his features going back to normal. When he opens his eyes, they're as green as ever. Then, in a whisper, he says :

"**I'll be back."**

And he disappears.

* * *

><p><em>Please tell me what you think ! The end of the story in a few days ! Stay tuned :D<em>

**_OTH-FOQ_**

_PS : I'm currently working on a story with Confliction, untitled The Poetry of Caroline. I hope you'll read it !_


	2. Chapter 2

So this is the second part of the story ! Please take a few seconds to tell me what you think about it ! :)

* * *

><p>It's almost dawn, now. Stefan hasn't come back to Elena's after his hunt. He's been able to reach the woods without killing anyone. He only met a few people on his way, so that probably helped. But he's proud. He took a few minutes to bury the three rabbits he killed. He never did that before, thinking it was best to leave them for the other predators of the forest, so that they wouldn't go after other preys. But somehow it felt like the right thing to do. It was a symbolic gesture for the humans he had drained of their blood and left behind him. Now, Stefan feels a little better.<p>

He decides that, since he's seen Damon and Elena, it would be a good thing to check on Caroline. He knows, thanks to his brother, that the perky blonde is back in town for her month of holidays. Because she's at the GSU now. She's studying journalism there. It's good to hear that at least one of them is moving forward with life. Stefan steps by her house and picks up a very small stone that he throws on Caroline's bedroom window. She's here, he can hear her moving. A second later, the window opens and her head appears. Their eyes meet, and Stefan smiles for the first time. A real, warm smile. Caroline is in shock, obviously, but she regains her composure faster than Elena and Damon did. After making sure that no one can see her, she jumps from her window and falls graciously on her two feet. Then she ran toward Stefan and hugs him tightly. He doesn't even have time to react. He doesn't try to push her away, because somehow, he's glad that she didn't let him decide. In that moment, Stefan is happy to see that Caroline is still the same Caroline. Finally, she pulls away and takes his hands in hers.

"**Oh my God. How are you ?"**

"**I'm good, it's okay."**

"**You're free ? You're coming back ?"**

"**No, no… I'm leaving tomorrow."**

Once again, he explains that Klaus let him go for some unknown motives. But Caroline doesn't complain. She's too relieved to see that he's still alive to say anything.

"**Come inside !"**

"**Is your mother here ?"**

"**No, she's working."**

"**Some things never change."**

"**You tell me."**

* * *

><p>He spends the whole evening with her. Because she's fun and refreshing. She doesn't question him about what he did, she makes him <em>forget<em>. Stefan never realized how caring Caroline could be. People said that she was shallow. Well, she's proving him the contrary. They watch a movie together, a bad movie with bad actors so that they can laugh at their poor attempt of acting. Caroline is not afraid of him, even though she knows he could break her neck with one single hand. They share a bottle of whiskey together, and she tells him that her mother will kill her if she founds out she's been drinking. Then she tells him about her relationship with Tyler, who's got a football scholarship and is now at GSU with her. He listens carefully, nods his head to show her that he's following her rambling. She finally stops and says :

"**Okay, enough talking about my life. I assume you've already seen Damon and Elena ?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Why aren't you with them ?"**

"**Because I'm with you."**

"**Well, mister Salvatore, I'm flattered, really. But he's your brother and she's your girlfriend."**

"**You're my best friend."**

Her cheeks redden and Stefan laughs.

"**For now, I'm feeling good here with you. I'll go back to them tomorrow."**

"**Okay. How about we do something fun ?"**

"**What do you have in mind ?"**

"**Dancing !"**

"**I can't exactly go out and dance in a night-club full of people."**

"**I know, you goof. I've got music here !"**

And they dance. They're both a little drunk from all the alcohol they've got in their system now. Caroline puts some music, a song that Stefan doesn't even know, and they start dancing. Stefan can't help but think of Lexi and how much Caroline reminds him of her. She loved to dance, too. She was always the one to drag him to parties. When they're finally exhausted from shaking their bodies like crazy, they let themselves fall onto the couch and laugh. Suddenly, Caroline grabs a cushion and throws it at Stefan's head. He immediately throws it back, and they start a pillow fight. Eventually, Stefan wins. Caroline raises her hands in surrender. They stop, breathless. Only then, Stefan realizes how late it is.

"**Well, Caroline. I had fun tonight. And really, thank you. But I think it's time for me to go home now."**

"**Okay. I'll miss you, Stefan."**

"**I'll come back. And you'll help me being good again. Being the Stefan you knew. You won't get any older, Caroline. You'll be here, I know it."**

"**Of course I will. I'll never let you down."**

They smile, but this time it's a sad smile. Stefan almost gives Caroline her hug back when, once again, she pulls him against her. He only brushes his hand on her hair, and steps back.

"**Take care of you."** She whispers.

"**I'll try."**

"**And come back to me, okay ?"**

"**I will."**

"**Otherwise, I'll hunt you down until I find you and I'll kick your ass."**

He chuckles and nods.

"**Duly noted."**

* * *

><p>Damon is in the living-room when Stefan comes home, and he's pretty sure his brother has been waiting for him all day.<p>

"**You shouldn't be drinking now, Damon. You won't be able to sleep."**

"**Oh, funny Stefan ! Where have you been ? Elena called me, she was worried you might have done something wrong."**

"**Well, I didn't. I hunted for a couple of hours, and then I walked for a while."**

"**All day ?"**

"**I spent the last few hours at Caroline's."**

"**Oh."**

Stefan and Damon look at each other. Despite everything that happened lately, they don't know what to say.

"**Well… I'm tired. I'm going to sleep."**

"**Okay. Have a goodnight little brother."**

Stefan is upstairs in a second. He's facing the door of his bedroom and sighs. It's time to come inside. He turns the door handle and enters his room. As expected, nothing has changed. His stuffs are still where he left them. Stefan can smell the lingering scent of Elena on his bed, but he can tell that it's been quite a while since the last time she came here. Stefan showers and goes to bed immediately after. Within five minutes, he's asleep.

* * *

><p>He wakes up early, as usual. He had bad dreams, in which he witnessed Klaus killing Elena, Damon, and the others. For a while, Stefan wonders if the Original was here, sneaking into his head. It looks like something he would do, to warn him, to remind him that he has to come back. As if he could forget. He stands up and takes a new shirt in his cupboard. A black one. He doesn't know why, but black became a very attractive colour lately. Then he decides to go downstairs and drink some blood from Damon's private reserve. His brother is still in his room, his respiration slow. Stefan smiles because Damon has always loved to sleep. When Stefan empties his glass, the sun is starting to shine, and he thinks he should go to Elena's.<p>

* * *

><p>She's still asleep, but she let her window open as if she knew he would come. She seems so peaceful when she sleeps that Stefan's heart tightens. He'd do anything for her. Slowly, taking care of not waking her up, he lies down beside her. He allows himself to touch her cheek slightly. It makes him feel all the love they have for each other. Stefan knows he shouldn't do that, because it brings out his humanity, and he's not supposed to be back to his previous self. The Stefan who wanted to have a normal human life is gone, and he won't ever come back. He's seen too many atrocities to ever return to who he was. Elena shifts in her sleep and Stefan decides to leave and come back later. She'll be up soon.<p>

* * *

><p>He's back an hour later and finds Elena sitting at her desk. She's writing in her diary and hasn't heard him coming. He knocks on the window and she startles and turns round.<p>

"**Stefan !"**

"**Hey. I'm sorry I didn't want to scare you."**

"**It's okay. Come in."**

They stand awkwardly away from each other.

"**You didn't come back yesterday. I waited for you all night."**

"**Sorry."**

"**Don't be sorry, Stefan, talk to me !"**

"**About what ? What I've been doing with Klaus ? You already know it, Elena. Trust me, the less I talk about it, the better."**

"**I understand that. But you're cold. You don't want to touch me, like I have some kind of disease you might catch if you're too close to me…"**

That's enough, Stefan thinks. He can't let her believe that he doesn't want her. Of course he does. He walks up to her and takes her chin in his hand.

"**Don't say that. Just… Don't."**

And he kisses her. It's not passionate, or tender. It's just a kiss. But it's a progress, and when he looks at her, Elena smiles.

"**I love you."** She says.

He mutters a "Me too" and hugs her tightly. Only then he realizes how much he had missed her. Stefan can smell her shampoo and notices that she's still using the same. He keeps his nose buried in her hair for a while and closes his eyes. He feels good. And he doesn't push Elena away when she tries to bring him closer to her bed. They sit down, still wrapped in their embrace, and she places small kisses all along his jaw-line and neck. It makes him shiver in anticipation, because he knows Elena, and he understands immediately what she wants from him. He's not sure he's ready to give it to her, but Stefan closes his eyes and decides to let her do what she wants to do. If things go wrong, he'll stop her.

* * *

><p>But it didn't go wrong. They made love, and it was just like before Stefan left. A bit slower, more desperate, each of them savouring every second of it. Now Elena lies asleep in Stefan's arms, and he listens to her heartbeat, wondering how it's possible so stay so calm around her. Her warm body pressed against his. Her hot blood running through her veins. He could rip her to shreds within two seconds and drink until he can't swallow more, but he doesn't want to. That's her power, he thinks. To make monsters become almost human again, when they're around her. Except for Klaus, of course. The guy was never human.<p>

She opens her eyes and smiles to him.

"**Thank you for staying."**

He doesn't respond. They both know he's going to leave in a few hours. Stefan didn't tell anyone but Klaus sent him a message earlier, to tell him to join him at Alaric's old flat before twilight. He wishes he could stay here forever.

"**I'm going to shower."**

"**Okay."**

She gets up and after one last kiss, she disappears into the bathroom attending to her room. A minute later, Stefan hears the water pouring down. He puts his clothes back on him and his attention is caught by something on the floor. He picks it up and discovers that it's Elena's diary. She must have let it fall onto the ground when he scared her.

Stefan doesn't mean to, but when he puts it back on the desk, his eyes catch some words of what she wrote. His name. It's what she was writing when he came to her earlier.

_"Stefan came back yesterday… I feel different…. My love for him… I can't tell what happened…"_

The vampire frowns. He's only skimming through the page and doesn't understand what Elena is talking about. So he decides to go back to the beginning of the entire diary. He's not surprised to see that Elena choose Jenna and John's death to start with. She talks about her feeling of sadness and abandon. And then, about him.

"_He left. What am I supposed to do now ? He's everything for me. And there's Damon… He's healing quickly. And he's going to want to talk about that kiss."_

Stefan's head shots up. What kiss ?

"_I thought he was dying. It wasn't passionate, or anything. I guess I was just trying to comfort him, to thank him for everything that he's done for me…"_

He stops reading and skips some pages. Elena is still in the shower, she's washing her hair. And suddenly, Stefan feels like something within him just broke. The words he's reading are cutting him like daggers. The date scrawled on top of the paper tells him that Elena wrote this three months ago.

"_Dear diary,_

_I feel horrible. I've done something terrible. Something I'll never forgive myself. I can't stop thinking about Stefan. My poor Stefan… What am I going to do next ? What will I say when Stefan comes back, if he ever does ? I can't stand to look Damon in the eye. Maybe he feels like me. Although he probably doesn't regret anything. He's been waiting for us to happen for so long, and now he can finally have it. Why would he regret anything ? We slept together, can you believe that ?"_

No. No, Stefan can't believe that. But it's there. And deep inside of him, he's not that surprised. It explains Damon's silence from yesterday. It explains everything. Absently, he turns the pages until he reads the date of last week.

"_I can't deny my feelings for him any longer. I've tried so hard to bury them for the past year that they've finally blown up to my face. Would things be different if Stefan was here ? I think they would. Because I still love him…"_

"_We did it again, with Damon. Several times. Each time making me feel dirty. But each time a less bit. I'm lost. We are betraying Stefan. I know I'm acting like Katherine did. Except that my feelings for them are real. It hurts."_

Stefan can't read more. He's already on the edge of breaking down. Elena, his girlfriend, is fucking Damon, his own brother. She claims that she loves him too, but Stefan can't accept that. They did this behind his back. They did this while he was paying the price for saving Damon's life. It's more than a betrayal, it's…

**"Stefan ?"**

Elena is in the room now, a towel wrapped around her body. Slowly, he turns to face her and she steps back with fear in her eyes. Stefan understands that he's not himself anymore. The ripper threatens to escape. He's losing control. She blinks, and he's standing dangerously close to her, looking at her with such disgust that her legs barely support her. When Stefan finally speaks, it's with a low, deep voice filled with anger.

"**How could you ? Damon. My own brother."**

"**I'm sorry… Please, Stefan. I'm so sorry…"**

"**My own fucking brother."**

Elena closes her eyes and bites her lips because she can't stand to look at him.

**"Open your eyes, Elena. I want you to see what you're doing to me. Open them !"**

She does as she's told. Stefan's eyes have turned red, she knows what it means. The most frightening thing is that his tone is calm, as if he didn't feel anything.

"**Were you ever going to tell me ?"**

"**Yes, yes I would have told you but… I couldn't do it today, you were going to leave again…"**

She's crying now, but Stefan doesn't care. It doesn't make him feel her sadness, or shame, whatever it is. His heart is broken, again.

"**You're wrong. You're not acting like Katherine did. Because she, at least, was honest with us. She told us that she wanted the both of us. She never denied sleeping with Damon. You denied having feelings for him. You lied. I want you to listen very carefully, Elena. You are **_**not**_** better than Katherine."**

He knows that each of his words is stabbing her but he thinks that she deserves it. Despite all his anger and sadness, Stefan knows he'd never hurt her physically. All he has left are his words. He knows how to choose them.

"**You'll tell your new boyfriend that today he's lost a brother and found a new enemy."**

"**Stefan, don't… Please…"**

"**Stop begging. You've created this situation, Elena. You have to accept the consequences. We're over."**

With that said, Stefan walks out of her room. He wants to use the front door. He wants her to see him leave. But she runs after him.

**"Stefan please don't go, we need to talk about it !"**

She grabs his arm and makes him look at her one more time. But when their eyes meet, Elena understands that the Stefan she knows is already gone. So she lets him go.

"**I'm sorry."** She whispers.

Stefan's eyes go back to green and she can see the human within him. Broken. Sad. Betrayed. He has tears in his eyes, and Elena starts crying again. Her vision blurs, and she blinks really hard to make the tears go away. When she's finally able to see correctly, the door is open, and she's alone in the house.

* * *

><p>It takes him all his restrain not to run to his house and kill Damon. Stefan hides in the woods and hunts, waiting for the sunset. He tries hard not to think about Elena. When the time comes, he walks mechanically to Alaric's old flat and pushes the door. Klaus is here, waiting. He has a smirk on his lips and a mocking glint in his eyes. That's when Stefan finally understands it all.<p>

"**You knew."**

"**I needed you to commit fully to your destiny, Stefan. If I knew that your brother was screwing your girlfriend ? Of course I did."**

"**So you let me go, to see that by myself."**

"**I hope it was worth it. Hopefully you'll be a better wingman, now."**

Stefan closes the door behind him. It's a symbolic gesture. The vampire who wanted to have a normal human life is dead. It's an entirely different Stefan standing in front of Klaus. This Stefan has great things to accomplish. Klaus gives him a glass filled with blood, and he empties it quickly.

**"Where's our next stop ?"**

The Ripper is back.

* * *

><p><em>Reviews make me happy ! haha :D<em>

_OTH-FOQ_


End file.
